Category: The Kitten Psychologist

There once was a little kitten who had decided that the outside was bad. One hundred percent, unequivocally, without question or shadow of a doubt dangerous. “I mean, why else,” said the kitten, purring and cleaning its paws, “Would we live in houses?” But, alas, one day, the kitten’s humans took it outside. Carried it right out the door. “It was terrible,” the kitten told me over Skype after the event. “One hundred percent, unequivocally, without question or shadow of

(Read the previous installment, “The Kitten Psychologist vs. The Kitten’s Owners” here) Dear kitten, I would absolutely love to speak with you, but your humans, as you say, have decided I can’t ever see you. You’ll have to deal with the tumblr thing on your own. Sincerely, Your psychologist   Dear psychologist human, There is no reason to be rude with me. As you see perfectly well, we can talk through email. Your payment will be minimal to none as

(Read the previous installment, “The Kitten Psychologist Broaches the Topic of Economics,” here) Boy, was I in trouble. I think it would have been worse if I hadn’t called my friends the day I left for vacation, which is exactly why I did that. But, man, give them two weeks to steam off and they were still mad. And, okay, yeah, I deserved it. When I got back, they demanded an accounting of exactly how much money their kitten had

There once was a little kitten. No, not the kitten I wrote a story about one week for Backstage Passes. Definitely a different kitten. A very different kitten. Oh, fine. It’s the same kitten. So I’m reusing characters. So what? This kitten had had a hard time going outside. Which is as much to say as it didn’t. Not after its first experience with snow, which is probably like a person’s first experience with horseradish: you either like it or